Sunday, July 31, 2011

Wishes

It's predictable...it's Friday and that means it's share day. We get the usual Barbies, books and latest Cars 2 characters. Every Friday I bring a "share toy" too. One time it was a picture of my son and his partner, another time artwork that I have made or favorite books that I will read to them later in the day, etc.

This past Friday I brought a roll of tickets, all 100 of them with the word "WISH" on them. I explained what a wish is: something you really hope will come true. It could be anything from wishing to be an astronaut going to the moon to wanting to go swimming soon. The children shocked me with their answers! Not one of them asked for anything material. It started off with "I wish my Dad and Mom did not have to work so much."

"My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"


Next came children saying, "I wish my Mom and Dad wouldn't be on the phone so much", then "I wish my Mom and Dad wouldn't text so much" or "I wish Mom and Dad would spend more time with me" or "not be on the computer so much". I explained that Moms and Dads have to work to pay for clothes, food, housing etc. Even Miss Sue, Terry, Bette, Simin and Janelle work, much to the childrens' surprise.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then


Childhood is but a fleeting moment in time compared to all the years we spend as grown-ups worried about careers, money, time and lastly on the list-family. What do you want your legacy to be?

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"


Will it be one of too busy for your child because you must text? Or on the phone and too busy to enjoy hearing them sing their latest song they've just learned?

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"


I watched this scenario play out a week or two ago at school.
Mom comes in texting on her phone. Her child comes up excitedly with an art project she is anxious to show her mom. "Mommy! Look what I made, look what I made, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom..." Mom finally acknowledges her child with a short, curt, "What do you want?" Child replies disheartedly, "I want to show you my art project!" Mom replies, "OK, fine, we are in a hurry, we have to go." The child runs off to show some other children in the big room her art project and begins talking to them. Mom, with great impatience says, "Come on, Susie* we have to go, Susie, Susie, Susie, Susie." Mom turns to me and says, "Honestly, I just don't get why Susie won't listen to me, she just ignors me until I call her name 5-6 times." Hmmmmm....I wonder why Susie won't listen, is it perhaps because Mom is too busy to listen to Susie? (*Susie is a pseudonym)

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me


Remember, what you do is far more impressionable to your children than what you say. If they see you on the computer, phone, video game or other electronic devices far too often, what you are saying is that they are less important than the electronic gadgets. Put the phone, computer, electronic device down and enjoy a family time together. It's later than you think!

"Cats In the Cradle" music and works by Harry Chapin, 1974.

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